On weekday mornings, Jose is up around 5:30am and he’ll usually go into Leni’s room first when she wakes up, letting me linger in bed just that much longer.
Dream man, right there.
Her immediate request for a few weeks has been “toast” and “banana,” but out of habit I’ve continued to nurse her before she eats. When Jose’s been on Leni duty of late, however, he’s been giving her breakfast before bringing her to me to nurse. On Monday morning when Jose placed Leni in bed next to me (once again post-meal), I had a light bulb moment: maybe she’s ready to let go of the morning nursing session. And maybe I am too. I know I’ve talked a big game in previous posts, how I’m so done with nursing, but it’s not that simple. Yes I am ready to have more freedom, but I also love the closeness it brings us and I’m a little reluctant to let that go. So we’re taking it one nursing at a time.
On Monday night, I asked Jose if he could commit to looking after Leni’s morning routine everyday for at least a week to see if we could phase out that first breastfeed of the day. Bonus: it guarantees I get a little more shut eye, too, which I don’t hate.
We’ve now had four successful nurse-free mornings. Admittedly, she had a moment the first three days where she kind of pulled at my shirt and cried a little, which wasn’t easy, but within a couple minutes she was totally fine. I also offered her some almond milk as a distraction, which helped too. I’m not noticing any real discomfort in my chest either, although there was a moment when my friend nursed her daughter on Tuesday where my nipples went on high alert. True story.
We still nurse at bedtime and we’ll continue to until this new morning routine feels established. I already miss that time with her at the start of the day, but I really feel it’s the best thing for both of us.
Admittedly, I also have an ulterior motive. My birthday is next month and I’ve booked us a night at The Drake Devonshire in Prince Edward County, just Jose and I. Our very first night away from the babe. Jose’s mum has already agreed to stay at our house for the night with her (and our dog Ruby).
So, yes, this is actually officially happening for reals.
I’m not going to lie, I’m already feeling anxious about being away from Leni for an entire 24 hours, worried and a bit wistful about ending our bedtime feeding. A night away is a HUGE step for me, ending breastfeeding will be a significant change for us, too. It’s all very exciting and a just a little terrifying. I feel really relieved I have been able to transition gently though. I’m proud of breastfeeding Leni for this long. It’s way more than I ever expected or intended and it wasn’t always easy, but I’m so grateful that it worked for us.
So for the next couple weeks before we wean completely, I intend to really soak up those quiet moments alone with my babe at bedtime.