Peanut’s two parents–before she was born–
Wished and they waited for years on and on,
For a sweet little bundle to call all their own.
A babe just like Peanut, to fill up their home.
They visited doctors, nutritionists, friends.
They even asked stranger’s advice they could lend.
They Googled and read every book that they could
For tricks to conceive their very own brood.
Then, one morning, her mummy awoke
and all she could stomach was plain old dried toast.
“Hooray!” They exclaimed. “A baby at last!”
Then they waited again for nine long months to pass.
While they waited, they downloaded apps
with pictures of fruit for babe’s growth, foot to cap.
Poppyseed! Bean! Squash! And Plantain!
They scoured each detail while dreaming up names.
In the second trimester, the belly it popped.
So they posted a story, highlighted and cropped.
To declare to the world their glorious news.
Secretly hoping for numerous views.
Then they waited some more until Peanut decided
to make her debut one fine day, OB-guided.
Black hair, chestnut eyes and a strawberry kiss.
Her parents embraced her, both filled with bliss.
To announce her arrival, the new family unveiled
her own custom hashtag with birth pic and details.
To be used any time their sweet babe appeared.
Her very own search tool, her online premiere.
The next few months were divine, but exhausting.
For she loved the wee hours, despite her ‘rents yawning.
Her mummy and daddy would pour over blogs,
To figure out why she didn’t saw logs.
They tried every method from Ferber to Fading,
But nothing quite took ‘til they finally called aid in.
“This baby needs routine, no need to stress.”
And thanks to the night nurse, they slept at last.
More rested, they took time to update their profiles
with Rise-filtered photos of their sweet lil’ child.
They blew up their feed on Insta and Facebook.
The likes they’d receive, a reprieve from their dishevelled nook.
Each new milestone was cross-checked on Wonder Weeks.
To ensure that young Peanut hit all the developmental leaps.
Then baby groups, bootcamps, drop-ins, and playdates
Singalongs, workshops, cafes and play places.
As they ventured out though, the opinions were plenty
from every single person who met the young family.
And searching online didn’t help, not one bit.
The more know-how they sought, the less they felt fit.
A minefield of info on every damn subject!
What advice to follow and what to reject?
Milestones, screen time, discipline, weaning…
There was no way to win. How could they reason?
The next best thing, it happens, was going offline.
Cold turkey, no less, would help them to shine.
Phones set to airplane mode, apps were deleted.
They logged off, disconnected and no longer tweeted.
And wouldn’t you know it? They felt such relief.
Without all the noise, doubts began to retreat.
Replaced were their instincts, more confidence too.
And with that, they bid Dr. Google a final adieu.
Ok so they didn’t go forever dark.
They still posted photos and surfed for a lark.
But they took all they heard with a grain of salt.
Now they lean into their strengths,
not dwell on their faults.