I’m officially going on my first solo trip. Sans bebe.

The week after we booked my flights, my insides were a hyperactive cocktail of excitement and some serious stomach-plummeting fear. I’d fall asleep every night only to wake up with a jolt two hours later. Every worst case scenario playing in my mind on repeat.

Having never been away from the babe for more than 24 hours (twice) in her first two years, the thought of time alone was both incredibly enticing and completely terrifying. And this isn’t some weekend getaway either. I’m heading out to the west coast (to visit my bestie) for an entire week. That is a big fucking deal for this mama.

If my husband had not encouraged me to go (and offered his aeroplan points), I highly doubt I would ever have entertained anything so indulgent.

I am so damn grateful to have such a supportive, thoughtful, and loving partner. When I asked about childcare, he was so relaxed. He suggested we ask his mum and then take it from there. When she agreed to help, we found the flights and Bob’s your uncle.

It still took several pep talks from some very kind and patient friends to finally ease my anxiety (and guilt) about the entire thing. (Note: I said ease, not eliminate.)

I know I’m going to miss my family like crazy, but I also realize taking this time for myself is important too.

Thank goodness for the magic that is FaceTime!

**Photo Credit: Erin Leonard Photography